Change of Plans

During my Senior year of undergrad I kind of made the last minute decision to apply to graduate school. I had my life all planned out, and then of course I get the bright idea to totally go against that. It was an ordinary day, I was talking to some of my sorority sisters about our plans after college and I discussed my plans for my future. I was going to stay around my hometown, which was also where I went to college, I would find a job in event planning, and that was it.

How boring. Where is the excitement? Where is the adventure? 

I dont know if it was the jumbo margarita I was drinking, but I had an epiphany. Why was I choosing to stay around my hometown? Who was I doing that for? Sure wasn’t for me…I knew I was meant to live more than a mediocre life. 

I blurted out. “I think I’m gonna go to grad school”. Um ok. What. Once I said the words, I never looked back. I think this was the moment I decided to live life and make decisions for ME. Oh, it was liberating. Long story short, kind of, I got into a great school and got a teaching position. I was ecstatic. 

I moved to a new town, where I knew no one. I worried about if I would fit in. I remember my first day of training I showed up 30 minutes late because I got lost. How embaressing! Ugh!

I quickly realized that I was surrounded by the most amazing, talented, humans I’ve ever met. I am 9 weeks into my first semester, and I am not the same person I was 9 weeks ago when I walked in the doors of Fell Hall 30 minutes late. (ugh, still dying over that)

My mind has been exposed to experiences and thoughts that I never considered before. I thought why didn’t my undergrad feel like this? I believe I was meant to come to grad school to find myself. (I also want my Master’s Degree) Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t have it all figured out, but I know more now about myself than I ever have before. 

I owe it to the people. I lived such a close-minded life before coming here. I surrounded myself with people I was comfortable with. People who thought like me. I have had all my views challenged since coming here. 

Because I am a planner… I have a new plan for after I am finished with grad school.

I want to travel. I have an insane fear of airplanes, but I am forcing myself to get over this by booking trips. Can’t get very far if you can’t get on the plane to get there. I’m flying to Vegas next month and thinking about it makes me nautious. Shout out to whoever is on that flight with me. You’re the real MVP’s.

I don’t want to stay in one place. I want to move around. There is so much of the world to be seen, and I’m sick of living vicariously through Pinterest and my friends trips to London, New York, etc. I want to see and experience these places first hand. Central Illinois is cool and all, but it’s not for me anymore. 

To be honest, that’s about all I have figured out for now. I’m learning to be less of a planner, and live life in the moment. I have been so much happier. Life is too short for you to be the only thing standing in your way. As for love, marriage, and kids? I want all of those things too! For now, I’m just trying to make it through grad school….

So thank you grad school, for allowing me to become who I am

– xo Rach

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