Reflecting on 2015

I am a bit ashamed that I haven’t posted anything on here in almost 2 months, but hey grad school is hard and I am a workaholic. BUT HEY, NEW YEAR NEW ME AND I’M BACK.

2015 was filled with so many ups and downs. I graduated with another degree, got into graduate school, and have been working my ass off ever since. However, this past year I also wasted my time on people who didn’t deserve it and lost myself in the process. As rough as this year was for me, I managed to end this year with my shit pretty well together. Obviously. I never let anything get me down for long. 

Before 2016 even started, I wanted to get my priorities in line for a new year. You can call me a bandwagoner all you want, but I don’t see what’s so wrong with wanting to use a new year as an excuse for a fresh start. 

This year my goal is simple, I just want to love myself again. 

I spent way way too much time last year asking myself what was wrong with me. That isn’t who I am. I put my happiness in the hands of others who were reckless with it. A mistake I won’t make again.

I have several ways I plan on reaching my goal. 

I plan on being kind to myself. We are often our worst critics. I compared myself to other people and always sold myself short. I feel like I watched others success so much that I forgot to even appreciate my own. 

I have forgiven myself for my past mistakes. Like I said earlier, I wasted a lot of time on the wrong people. I have left those people in 2015, and am focusing on building and maintaining relationships with people who better me and are deserving of my time. Letting go of the past is so liberating. 

I am making changes to better myself. I have always enjoyed working out, but I haven’t had a structured routine in a long time. I started a new fitness routine that I love, and can’t wait to start living a healthier lifestyle. You would be surprised at how much a routine and healthy lifestlye can make you feel better physically and mentally. I will never be perfect, and I won’t try, but I can learn to appreciate my body and the things it can do.

I need to laugh at myself more. I will spend less time caring of what others think because I did way too much of that in 2015. Life is too short to hold back. Besides, I am always doing something super embarassing so I don’t think this will be much of an issue. 

I am 3 days in to the new year and I am already the happiest I have been in a long time. I can’t wait to see what this year brings. I deserve it.

“One day it just clicks…you realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that they’d never recover, and then you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.”

– xo Rach


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